I spent about an hour and a half downloading and listening to music. I was searching for some great worship music. I haven’t worshiped worshiped in forever… What I mean when I say “worshiped worshiped” is I haven’t worshiped with my whole heart and soul. I haven’t released what I have been holding in, in worship. I haven’t handed it over to God. I finally did JUST that tonight. I worshiped for about forty five minutes straight. I thanked God for being my weapon, for saving me and holding my heart. I cursed him, for giving my dad this disease. But I knew he was there holding me and hating my pain. I fell to my knees and sobbed with pain, hurt, and confusion. I danced and held my hands up to my creator and thanked him. The following hit home to me soo much:

Desert Song by Hillsong:

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

I am so thrilled to have a God like my God. He is so vast beyond all measure. I sang, and was silent for my dad as I worshiped.

Strong Tower by Kutless:

In the middle of my darkness
In the midst of all my fear
You’re my refuge and my hope
When the storm of life is raging
And the thunder’s all I hear
You speak softly to my soul

^^^^ also had some meaning to me. He speaks softly to my soul and he hold me close. I have nothing to fear from this life. He is my one and only companion. I have NO reason to fear. I thank God, for being a just and wonderful God.
I thank him for being my friend, my love, my God, my healer, and my creator.